Tails of Hunter, the accidental pet

I am not a neat freak. I want to get that out in the open. I have tendencies I'll admit, but after 35 years with my none neat husband I have turned to the dark side, if only a little bit. I am not one of those people who loses it if something is out of place or constantly goes behind everyone cleaning up as they mess up. I just like everything neat and clean. I can go for days and not vacuum or dust, at least I could till you-know-who came to live with us. I now have to curb those tendencies even more. The rate in which he loses hair is greater than the rate that I can vacuum. It is a vicious circle and I feel myself getting caught up in it almost daily. It will drive you insane. I commented to my daughter about the hair loss and she said " Well Mom it's not like I didn't know he sheds a lot. I just didn't care." Insane I tell you, INSANE!


Hair of the dog

"Argh! every time I think I have a handle on it I find more! My beige carpet is gray." Beeeep beep beep. Beeeep beep beep.

"What are you fussing about?" Asked Grandaddy. " I just vacuumed yesterday and now I could fill the thing up again with dog hair. How can one dog lose so much hair and not be bald?" Said Grandma getting the vacuum. "The Hair Club should really look into this. I'm sure they could solve the problem of hair loss for millions of people around the world if they could figure out how he does it." I don't know what she's talking about. It's not like I go around all day deliberately dropping handfuls of hair. I don't collect it so I can fling it around the house. What does she expect I'm a dog. " There has to be something I can do to at least slow it down. My vacuum is getting a lot of mileage put on it. And I'm not talking highway miles either." Said Grandma. " I'll just have to research it." "Oh no, not that." Groans Grandaddy.  "Every time I hear her say that it usually means someone will suffer." Looking at me he smiles and pats my head and says "Sorry buddy." Uh oh! I'm the one to suffer.

There is something about vacuums that just bothers me. They are loud and constantly move back and forth plus they eat stuff. How do I know it won't eat me? I don't, so I have to bark at it to let it know that I am not food and to let it know I'm not scared of it. Not very scared anyway. Grandma can keep it under control but I still worry. I've seen it eat stuff right off the floor in front of me. Some of it my stuff. It eats the crumbs left over from one of my treats that I was saving for later. It eats bits of paper. I have even seen it start to eat a small rug but Grandma grabbed it and pulled it out of its mouth before it could swallow all of it. Then it makes a high pitched whine that hurts my ears. I try to stay out of its way but it just roams all over the house with grandma holding onto its tail and pushing or pulling it. Vroooom! Look out here it comes! "Hunter move!" Don't worry, I'm out of here. Grandma vacuums downstairs so I go upstairs. I hear her stop, open the vacuum up, dump the contents in the trash and put it back together. She does the stairs and then brings the monster upstairs. I run downstairs. All the while she's mumbling about hair everywhere and something about shaving. Soon she is done and dumps the last load in the trash. She puts the vacuum away (finally) and sits down at the computer. There is an almost erie silence as she taps away at the keyboard for an hour.

The next day grandma brings home a soft looking mitt. It's supposed to capture all the loose dog hair on me before it falls onto the floor. Nope. But I did like the way it felt on my back. After that it was a brush. She brushed me everyday, sometimes more than once or twice. She brushed me so much I would run if I saw her with her own hairbrush. She got a special comb and spray, even a new broom. "The broom works best of all but it only gets up what has already fallen off of you." She would tell me. She would even  roll me down with her lint roller on the off chance it would catch a few stray hairs. " I give up." She said. " I guess we will just have to live with it." Thank you! While I enjoy all the attention, I was starting to get sore from all the rubbing and brushing. If there was a way I could stop shedding I would. I would do it for Grandma. She and Grandaddy have taken me in and made me part of their family. Besides I don't think I want to find out what shaving is.

 

 

 

Hunter waiting to get brushed. This is the only time he was still.